I Hate to Wake You Up to Say Good-Bye
by Sempai Sunny
Summary: Songfic! An insurance girl can't take it anymore! V/M


Disclaimer: Hmm...headline in today's newspaper. "ML Does NOT Own Trigun" WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO KNOW? I also don't own "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Well, la di da, this takes place after the end of Trigun. Vash is utterly depressed, Knives is comatose, Milly, well, she's depressed too, and Meryl just can't take it anymore. A few spoilers, but mandatory ones. Oh yeah, same ol', same ol', *=song lyrics.  
  
I Hate To Wake You Up To Say Good-bye  
  
I peek in on Vash and Knives. Vash, as usual, is sitting in the chair next to his brother's bed, and he looks dead to the world. Knives is still in a coma. I have left Milly sound asleep in our room.  
  
*All my bags are packed  
  
I'm ready to go  
  
I'm standing here outside your door  
  
I hate to wake you up to say  
  
Good-bye  
  
But the dawn is breaking  
  
It's early morn  
  
The taxi's waiting  
  
He's blowing his horn  
  
Already, I'm so lonesome  
  
I could die*  
  
I leave the house as silently as can be. The thomas that I've had for years, since the day the boss sent Milly and me out to find Vash the Stampede, is snoozing in the early morning sun. I have one bag of things, and I slide it on to the thomas's back. "Come on boy, wake up," I whisper. "We're going home."  
  
I feel so bad about leaving them like this, but I have to. The house has been nothing but a depressing wasteland since the night Vash came home. Milly kept working on the well, but at night, you can tell she longs for Mr. Wolfwood. I have my theories as to what happened between them the night before he died, but I've kept them to myself. No use in making an open wound worse.  
  
*So kiss me and smile for me  
  
And tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
  
'Cause I'm leaving  
  
On a jet plane  
  
I don't know when I'll be back again  
  
Oh, babe, I hate to go*  
  
Vash watches over his brother day and night, never leaving his side. And I mean never. He doesn't even leave the room to eat. He sits and prays that he hasn't killed him.  
  
The cross that Vash bears is overwhelming. He feels horrible about killing Legato, even if it did save Milly and me. He also feels that Mr. Wolfwood's death was his fault, and if Knives dies because of him, well, I just don't want to be there if that happens.  
  
I think, for both Vash and Milly, I've become utterly useless. I have been no help whatsoever, except as another source of income. I can't console Milly; I never know what to say. As for Vash, well, every since the day he got dragged around town by a truck, I've felt completely helpless around him. He forgave me, but I still haven't forgiven myself. I haven't done anything right when it comes to them in ages.  
  
*There's so many times I've let you down  
  
So many times I've played around  
  
I'll tell you now  
  
They don't mean a thing  
  
Every place I go I'll think of you  
  
Every song I sing I'll sing for you  
  
When I get back I'll wear your  
  
Wedding ring*  
  
Vash had asked me to marry him last night. I just stood there, shocked. I mean, we loved each other, we'd known it and proved it on various occasions. But, out of the blue like that.  
  
"Meryl, please. I love you more than I've loved anyone else."  
  
"But I thought....Rem?"  
  
"She was like a mother to me. I love her like she was my mother, but you're something else."  
  
I just couldn't say anything to him. I let myself out of the room and ran into my own to let the tears flow.  
  
I can't do it anyway. I'd grow old and die long before he would. I would hate for him to feel like he couldn't go on without me.  
  
The stupid thomas is still dozing. "Wake up lazy," I say, still softly so that I didn't wake up the people in my own home, much less the others.  
  
*So kiss me and smile for me  
  
And tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
  
'Cause I'm leaving  
  
On a jet plane  
  
I don't know when I'll get back again  
  
Oh babe, I hate to go*  
  
I started kicking the thomas. If it didn't get a move on, I would still be here when they woke up, which was not what I'd planned.  
  
I hope to leave before everyone awakes so there will be no tears. I am sick of tears. In the last few weeks, I've cried more than I have in my whole life. And I know that if Vash and Milly cry in front of me on account of my leaving, then I'll never get to go because I'll be comforting them, and most likely be crying myself.  
  
*Now the time has come to leave you  
  
One more time, oh let me kiss you  
  
Close your eyes and I'll be on my way  
  
Dream about the days to come  
  
When I won't have to leave alone  
  
About the times that I won't  
  
Have to say*  
  
The stupid animal won't wake up. I know it's alive because it's breathing that wheezy breath it always had. I will never get out in time, and I want to leave today.  
  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I keep muttering to myself. Cripes, I am never going to leave.  
  
"I'll hate you, I'll haunt you and your children and your children's children!" I can already hear Milly saying that if this thing doesn't wake up soon. Besides, how can I explain to the ones that I love the most that I have to go?  
  
Suddenly, a voice calls out behind me. "Meryl!" Drat. It's too late. But, the voice is unfamiliar. I pretend that I didn't hear.  
  
"Meryl! Wait!" That voice I DO know. The voice of Vash the Stampede, Humanoid Typhoon, Destroyer of the City of July, Chaser of the Mayfly Known as Love, and generally a soldier of Love and Peace.  
  
"Senpai! What are you doing?" I hear Milly cry. Great. They're going to wake up the whole city. I flinch.  
  
"Meryl," Vash comes up, grabs my shoulders, and turns me so I face him. "Knives saw you leaving, and started laughing, which woke me up and then he said 'Looks like your girlfriend hates you Vash, she's leaving without you.' and so I ran down the hall and tried to wake up Milly which took forever because she kept murmuring 'Bokushi-san' in her sleep and refused to wake up--like every other time she dreams about him--until I slapped her and then I told her you were leaving, had probably left and the whole time Knives was still laughing his head off, and, and, and," he hugs me and bursts into tears.  
  
I look up. Indeed, Knives is awake, smirking. "Too bad your thomas didn't get going. You could have avoided this scene."  
  
Milly just stands as tears run down her cheeks. "Senpai, why did you want to leave?"  
  
The tears start running down my face now and I bury my head in Vash's chest. "I felt like I was just in the way, you both were so sad. I felt it would be better for you if I just left."  
  
*So kiss me and smile for me  
  
And tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
  
'Cause I'm leaving  
  
On a jet plane  
  
Don't know when I'll be back again  
  
Oh babe, I hate to go  
  
But I'm leaving on a jet plane  
  
Leaving on a jet plane  
  
Leaving  
  
On a jet plane...*  
  
"Meryl, if you had left, I would have hunted you down and made you take me with you." Vash whispered, kissing the top of my head.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
OK, a little Vash/Meryl fluff, some angst, and me being pissed that tomorrow's the last day of my spring break. Which means not as many stories in the load that I've been feeding them to you. But don't worry. I plan on writing more Trigun stuff, including a yaoi which has kind of been working it's way through my mind (not your typical yaoi, but I can't give away who it is---yet!). 


End file.
